the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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