I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
