I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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