He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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