Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
