This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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