i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
so much tequila, so little girl.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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