So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
