They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
