i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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