He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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