you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Im part way to drunk.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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