well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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