u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
