dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You are the jesus of drinking
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
