People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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