i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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