i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
