Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
