white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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