What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
