You're completely useless in the revolution.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I will pee on everything he values.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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