i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
