You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My pussy is not your playground.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
