mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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