Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
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All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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