what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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