You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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