i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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