Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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