I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize