Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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