i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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