Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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