11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Me too!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
