Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
