so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize