Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
