Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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