Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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