big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
