I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
