I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
