he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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