This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He shit in the fireplace
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
