the condom got lost in my hair
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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