dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
