Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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