Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
