i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Terrible idea I love it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
