im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
false alarm. still invincible.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
