AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
