I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
