i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize