Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
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I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
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I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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