That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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