Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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