I wanna passion pit in your ass
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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