My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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