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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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