So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
